Sunday, August 01, 2010
It's almost a year since I update my blog. I got a sudden urge to update my blog. No idea why but just felt like it.
Anyway, I've been slacking for the past 1 year. I need to search for my drive and determination to do things. I'm not exactly lacking of them but rather I lost them, I just need to find them back. It'll not be an easy task. It's been good the past year because I get to understand people that have problems with determination.
I haven't been like the old Aaron Koh for the past year. Kind of got used to it but I'm starting to realize that it's not a very healthy way of doing things. I need to get back on my feet to warm up for the rest of my NS days. I will be getting extremely busy once I'm out of this hellish place. NS isn't really hellish but I just don't like the place where there are lots of screw up people. There are a lot of first times in my army camp in a very negative sight.
Time to keep myself occupied with things that are worth my time and things that I love. Goodbye lazy! Hello proactive!
Food for thought.
During my NS days, my life slowed down but people around me zoom-ed past me. I question myself, is it right to slow down for this 2 years? Is it okay? Initially I thought it was alright. I finally got to slow down in this 2 years. But in recent weeks, I've been talked to and I thought that it's not myself to slow down. I need to warm up now!
But I got scolded for slowing down. Why? Must I be so proactive all the time. I got no obligation for anything. But I'm told to be proactive. I don't know. I slowed down like finally! But I can't do that? I really don't understand some things. Is it because of people's expectations? Or is it because it's not good to slow down at all? People are weird. No rather, there are so many things to consider. We need to consider how would this guy or girl think? If I said she is pretty, would she like me? Or would she think that I just have a glib tongue?
There's always two sides to everything. Life is difficult. How should I be in order to make everything easier? Do I just convince myself that hey! Everything's going to be fine don't worry. Just because humans can self psycho themselves? I'm still at it. Thinking of so many possibilities.
Thinking thinking...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wow. My blog is dead since I enlisted. I just had my Passing Out Ceremony (POC) on Monday. Time flies since I enlisted. I made a bunch of good buddies in the 7week BMT. I dare say we are the most bonded and best Section!
Through this time I shed sweat and tears. Sweat in camp, tears at home. There are just things that I can't run away from. Apparently on all book outs I always spend one whole day with my girlfriend, while the other I try to make up by staying home. Sometimes I don't go home on one of the book out days, staying over with my girlfriend. That left my family unhappy with me. I don't understand. Especially when my brother let out his burst of anger on me.
He being my brother had received education didn't understand me. I agree that I should be home on book out days, I shouldn't stay over. Maybe it's my fault for staying over. But by the time I book out it's either it's late afternoon or past evening. The fact that we just got together, we would want to be together when there's a chance. I would definitely want to see her straight after my book out. So at times I'd stay over at her place or stay out late.
I don't understand why can't I stay over at her place. Not trying to say I want to or must. I mean my family should help me save money too? Stay over don't have to cab home. Screw the stay over. Apparently on past quarrels or talks with my family is that they wouldn't like the idea of me staying over with her. Why? Because we just started our relationship. This is bullshit. Maybe because I'm young. Screw the young thing. I'm still a small kid in my family's eyes. I'm tired of the proving thing. What do I need to do to prove? When I start working lor. Screw this.
I just don't understand what's wrong with all this. Not as if I don't stay home at all. I do try to make an effort to spend time with my family. I really don't understand. I don't like the idea that I'm stuck in this teenager treatment. Whenever I'm out I'm playing. Ya can't I play? Then what should I do? Stay at home and rot? Must I also be doing something that benefits my future? Let's stop thinking things so far ahead sometimes and look at what's before you.
I still don't understand. Hai.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Yay. Enlisting in two days time. Time for botak!
Cheers!
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Life is all about choices. It's all about living life to the fullest. All the choices you make will change how your live is going to be like. Even a small decision of talking nicely or badly to someone will change your life inevitably.
Don't underestimate the power of such a small decision. Just because you make a small decision like that, means you're more likely to commit it again and again. The more you talk nicely to people, the better your character will be. Everything is about being nice to people. Be nice to people, capture a good character in you.
A bad character will get you nowhere. However high you climb, you will fall eventually. It is all about humanity.
Treat others like how you want others to treat you
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I disappointed her today.
But after talking to her, clearing the air. I shall not look back and regret anymore. I want to look forward to be a better person. I think the most important thing is TO BE PRESENT
I want to live a happy life everyday. Just pure simplicity day by day.
I don't like to disappoint people especially people that I care for. Time and time again people keep telling me my same old problem since years ago but I never listened. Today, I sat down and listened with my heart. It IS a wake up call for me. I must not disappoint people. Because if I do, I disappoint myself too. I have high expectations of myself. I don't want people to suffer because of me. I want to see smiles.
Smiles are the most incredible things in the world. Smiles can be earned by making people happy. Smiles MAKE people happy. Smiles make the world go round.
Sunshine after rain was the phrase used by her. I don't know how much she trust me. But I know she wants to trust me. Today I breached her trust, I don't like it. I mustn't do it again, ever.
You are my strength. You are one of the best things in this world. You are just simply nice. You are so amazing to see the world in your view.
I want to prove to you
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Life is very unpredictable. Look at the failures and successes we had in the past. Now look at what we are now, how much we have grown as a person.
Now...food for thought. Does all this matter? Man passes on one day. We come to the surface of the Earth to make things better or to make things worse? Look at how the world is in a chaos now. Why are there people to make things worse? Why are there people to make things better? Who are all this people?
We keep digging, whacking, hurting Earth for all the wrong reasons. Simply just for our comfort. Lights, gas, petrol, oil. Instead of growing so many pigs, chickens, cows, why not kill some humans?
Humans are the most stupid animal on Earth. The more power they try to gather, the more control they need. It only takes a special someone to tame the beast in the cage trying to break free. Humans want to keep learning which makes them the most selfish animal on Earth. They are willing to sacrifice others for themselves.
It isn't bad dying anyway. You won't have to worry.
Live a simple life
Friday, May 08, 2009
My family met up to celebrate my belated birthday with a sumptuous dinner on Wednesday night. I was rather upset by the fact that we only meet up for special occasions. This is not a family to be. We're more like friends than family.
This issue actually set me thinking after such a long time. Now I just want to spend more time with my family members. I can feel tears engulfing my eyeballs.
I think it's time I do something.
